Understand How We Handle Your Complaints with Care
This page explains the process for submitting complaints about Llandrindod Wells Town Council, including concerns involving Councillors or the Clerk, ensuring your voice is heard fairly and promptly.
The Town Council Complaints Procedure
Llandrindod Wells Town Council prides itself in managing complaints from the public by ignoring them, side stepping them, and creating an answer that bears no resemblance to the original complaint. It has taken a many years to master the technique so here are our governing rules if you do have the nerve to complain about anything justified or not. Please note we see our little Council as absolutely perfect in every way and each Councillor is also 100% perfect and the Clerk is 100% perfect too so accept that as your starting point before having the cheek to complain about the fantastic and perfect things we do and will continue to do. In short you can all sod off.
GOVERNING RULES:
1. Llandrindod Wells Council is always right (refer to rule 2)
2. The Clerk is always right (refer to rule 3)
3. The Chairman is always right (refer to rule 4)
4. The Councillors are always right (refer to rule 5)
5. For the avoidance of doubt please refer to rule 1
If you are unhappy with the way your complaint has been swept under the councils dirty carpet and the enormous pile of codswallop you were given for an answer then you can always take your complaint further to our mates at the Councils Under New Transparency Service for a laugh. They will investigate bugger all ( Quite right too ) and observe our rules and in particular rules 1,2, and 3 and ignore everything you have to say. They will ask us if we feel we have done anything wrong and we will tell them to refer to rules 1,2,and 3. They will look very carefully at rules 1,2,and 3 and make a decision based on rules 1,2 and 3. If any further doubt exists we will refer them to rule 5 and you will be closed down but not until you have wasted vast amounts of your time and they have wasted vast amounts of public money ‘investigating’ on your behalf.
How do I submit a complaint to the Town Council?
Find clear guidance on submitting complaints about Llandrindod Wells Town Council, including steps for concerns about Councillors or the Clerk. Remember we are not really interested but will try and act as though we are. Please give us time to allow us to contact other organisations for help as we generally have no idea what we are doing and usually pay out a small fortune for advice on the smallest of matters. Who cares ? Its not our money – it’s all yours !!
What types of complaints can I file?
You can file complaints regarding conduct, service issues, or other concerns involving Council members or staff. The Clerk deals with these. Complain as much as you like. We will ignore the lot and make you look like the bad one.
Progressive attitude = We got that wrong – we made a mistake – Please accept an apology to start with and then we can deal with putting it right.
Inept Town Council attitude = We are always right – we will argue and lie about it all day long – We never make mistakes – You are wrong every time and we can prove it by fiddling, cheating, lying – you name it pal we can do it.
How long does the complaint process take?
Complaints are typically reviewed within 20 working days by the Clerk, depending on complexity. However we will try and wear you down by making things complicated and that takes more time up. It could go on for years.
20 days can be extended. 20 days is when you get a response. The response will bear no resemblance to your complaint. Then another 20 to 40 days for the next part. This back and forth game can be played for months. Also bear in mind these are working days for 20 days is really a month. Throw in a few holidays and other delays too. We know all the tricks.
Who handles complaints about Councillors?
The Monitoring Officer manages complaints related to Councillor conduct under the Code of Conduct. The Monitoring Officer is the Clerk. good luck with that one. Please feel free to waste your time. The filing cabinet for your moaning will be the second bin on the left. Your first name is ‘Beneath’ and your surname is ‘Contempt’ as far as we are concerned.
How do I complain about the Town Clerk?
How dare you. This is practically a crime. In fact we may hold a meeting and try and make it a crime. Complaints about the Clerk should be addressed to the Town Council’s Senior Complaints Officer – that will be the Clerk. The Clerks decision is final. Sod off.
Can I remain anonymous when filing a complaint?
Anonymous complaints may be considered but providing contact details helps with thorough investigation. The Clerk decides on these investigations. Your private information is completely safe inside the Clerks big desk drawer. Relax. No one locally will ever know anything about you. Clerks honour.
What if I’m not satisfied with the outcome?
If unsatisfied, you can request a review or escalate the issue to the appropriate oversight body. The oversight body is managed by the Clerk. You can further escalate to the Review Body. The Review Body is the Council Chairman and the Clerk. The Council Chairman does as the Clerk instructs them. If you still feel your complaint has not been handled to your satisfaction you can go all the way up to the Serious Complaints Board which is overseen by the Clerk. Following on there are the Complaints Review Panel, the Committee For Investigations, the Board Of Investigators, the Management Overview Group, the Senior Councillors Monitoring Office, the Special Committee For Public Relations, and the Unique Council Task Group For Special Duties. There are several other options which gradually take you through just about everyone on the Council with different titles. We can also make up new titles. These titles can change on a monthly basis.
Understanding the Complaints Process
This section guides you through the steps to file a complaint with Llandrindod Wells Town Council, ensuring your concerns are addressed effectively.
Step One: Submitting Your Complaint
Begin by outlining your concern clearly, including relevant details about the issue and the parties involved, to help us understand your complaint fully. We could not care less but ask you to spend many hours considering how to word things so we are not offended. We will take offence anyway and will ensure you are spited, cursed, and suffer at every opportunity.
Step Two: Investigation
Our team will review your complaint thoroughly, gathering necessary information to assess and address your concerns appropriately. In other words we will spend as much time as possible thinking up ways to crumble your complaint into the dust. You will be left with only a few avenues to pursue and we will make damn sure you fail at every turn. As local politicians we are used to lying, cheating, tricking people and double talk so you are stuffed right from the start.
Step Three: Resolution
We will provide a formal response detailing the outcome of your complaint and any steps taken to resolve the matter satisfactorily. Which means we will eventually send you something that says you are in the wrong, you have made a mistake, we have no idea what you are on about and can you therefore go away asap and never trouble us again or we will blacken your name.
How to File a Complaint with Llandrindod Wells Town Council
If you have concerns about the actions of Councillors or the Clerk, this guide explains how to submit your complaint clearly and effectively, ensuring your voice is heard and addressed promptly. Nothing will ever be done but nothing will be done promptly. Rest assured on that.